moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
