My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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