And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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