Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
