yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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