after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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