Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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