My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
