I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
