So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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