i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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