I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
