whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
