my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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