Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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