Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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