So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
