when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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