It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Life is so much better after having sex.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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