Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
