You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
