i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
