Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
