ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
