Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
