at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
