It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
