i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
