To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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