Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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