PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
wanna go halves on a baby?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
