i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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