well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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