he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
