I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
