hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think a kid would responsible me up
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
