oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
