I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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