she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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