I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
