textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
