You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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