ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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