I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
