My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
how does that bad decision feel?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
