i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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