Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
