either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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