I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
