yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
