Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
