turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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