So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
