May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
