i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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