He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
